When my Dad died two years ago, my Mom went into a brief depression over losing her partner of 50+ years. The first holiday season without my Dad was tough on all of us and we could see the sadness in my mother's eyes. But shortly after the new year, something happened that brought back her verve, her strength, her drive and her enthusiasm. She remembered that she was a mother. She remembered that she gave birth to 8 children, who then had 27 grandchildren and then her 9 great-grandchildren. In the absence of my dad, she was now the grand "kupuna" of our family and she responsibilities. Admittedly, at 85 years old, my Mom has few responsibilities other than to get up and enjoy the day. She is well cared for by her children and grandchildren. But the reminder that she gives us each day is that the "world is driven by motherhood." There is no power stronger than a mother's natural instinct for the survival of her young.
As I watched my sisters (I have three) grow up from little girls, to teenagers, to young women, they absolutely transformed once they became mothers. Even in the classmates that I've stayed in contact with, motherhood changed them forever in ways that most men cannot understand. Even our classmates that didn't bear any children became the favorite "auntie" or a mentor to young girls and women. The maternal instinct of women has allowed mankind to survive, flourish and have an appreciation for history. I've experienced first hand that even when a woman has to face the fact that she is terminally ill, all of her energy, thoughts and saddness are all related not to her own death, but to the loss of motherhood and the disposition of her children.
It is this instinct that led Bernice Pauahi Bishop to the idea of establishing the Kamehameha Schools. Extremely concerned over the declining population of Hawaiians (down from 124,000 at the time of her birth to 44,000 when she wrote her will in 1882) she felt that education was the only avenue Hawaiians had to stem the tide of their eventual demise. This compelled her to engage her resources for the survival of the Hawaiians. Pauahi was about our age (52) when she passed away from cancer, but even without children of her own, her instinct as a mother allowed us to be where we are today. Happy Mother's Day to Pauahi and every woman in the class of 1972 ........Aloha, Benny
3 comments:
Benny, what an incredible picture of your mom! This photo looks like a painting. I remember seeing her that day at your wedding in Kula at the lavender farm. Thanks for that great day....and this beautiful picture. Are you her biological child?
Ben Great letter. I was working w/my partner today when he recieved a call that his sister had passed away. It was a long term illness she was about out our age. He broke down & just cried. I didn't know what was going on. But he gathered himself & I'd just like to say life is short & tell your OHANA U luv em. Especially MOM! To all my 72 ohana, luv U
Thanks Benny - for reminding us to remember (and thank)our Mothers! On my birthday, I like to call my mother to thank her for all she's done for me and for the many things she has given me, whether she remembers it or not. And being 80 years old, she does not remember everything I can recall! ; )
*I wish I could say it was my own idea to call my mother on MY birthday but I got it from Jamie Lee Curtis (the actress and author), daughter of Vivian Leigh and Tony Curtis.
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